Don't Push Me Away
by alice writes stuff
Summary: After waking up alone too many times in a row, Alec decides enough is enough, and tries to find out what's wrong with Magnus sooner rather than later.


**A.N- I haven't done one of these in a while. The idea for this one came from the promo pictures and sneak peeks we've had so far for 2x15, and it's sort of my idea of** **what might end up happening. I'm not really sure how else to describe it. Nevertheless, I hope you guys enjoy it. Don't forget to read and review. As usual, I own nothing.**

Alec wasn't sure what woke him. Maybe it was the cold, he didn't know. He reached an arm out instinctively, seeking out Magnus, frowning when he realised that there was nobody there. This had happened a few times before, but he hadn't let it bother him. Now, though, he decided enough was enough. He had to at the very least say something. Getting out of bed, he pulled on his clothes. For once, his black t-shirt was where he'd left it. More and more often, he'd woken up to find that Magnus had not only left, but he'd taken Alec's shirt with him.

When Alec stepped into the main room, he shivered. The door to the balcony was opening, letting in the cold night air. He looked around for his jacket, feeling slightly confused when it was nowhere to be seen. Then he looked out onto the balcony and spotted Magnus. He quickly put on his shoes and went to stand beside him.

"Hey," he said. No response. Magnus was leaning against the wall of the balcony, looking down at the traffic below. However, Alec got the feeling he wasn't actually seeing it. For a moment, he wondered if he was remembering a time when there weren't as many cars, when people still drove around in horse-drawn carriages. The look on his face, however, suggested that something more serious was going on his head. Alec rested a hand over Magnus's. That got his attention.

"Alexander, what are you doing out here? It's freezing." Alec raised an eyebrow, resisting the urge to point out that he might be warmer if Magnus hadn't borrowed his jacket.

"I wondered where you were," he explained. "I'm worried about you." Magnus sighed.

"Never mind that." He took hold of Alec's hands and closed his eyes. Almost instantly, Alec felt warmth wash over him, starting at his hands. After a minute, Magnus opened his eyes again.

"Thanks," he muttered. He was getting more and more used to this- to the effortless way Magnus used his magic to solve his problems. However, he was less used to the fact that Magnus often did the same for him too.

"That should do until you go back to bed." The message was clear- he wanted Alec to leave. Normally, that would be all he needed. Right now, though…

"You should come back to bed too. You look exhausted."

"I'm fine," Magnus said, but Alec knew him well enough by now to know he was lying.

"No, you're not." He still hadn't let go of Magnus's hands, and he squeezed them gently now. "What's wrong? Magnus was quiet for a moment.

"It's nothing, really. Not anything you need to concern yourself with." Alec fought the urge to roll his eyes.

"Magnus, you're my boyfriend, and you're hurting. How is that not something I need to concern myself with?" He closed his eyes. "Look, you don't have to tell me everything. Just tell me what the problem is. Even if there's nothing I can do to help, you can still talk to me."

At first, he didn't think Magnus was going to say anything. Then, just when he was about to take a step back and go inside, Magnus wrapped an arm around Alec's waist, pulling him close. Before Alec could say anything, they were kissing. Almost instantly, Alec pulled away, trying to take a step back too. Magnus got the hint and let go of him.

"I know what you're doing." Alec said, ignoring the fact that Magnus's spell had worn off, and he was cold again. "You're trying to distract me, but it's not going to work." He rubbed his arms, and wondered if he should go inside.

"Are you cold?" This was hopeless.

"By the Angel, Magnus! Can't you just say that you don't want to tell me what's wrong, and stop trying to change the subject?" He sighed in frustration, pinching the bridge of his nose. "I really don't want to pry. But this has been going on for too long. I'm not asking for much, just let me in. And if you don't want to talk about what's wrong, then just tell me that." Magnus took a step towards Alec, and Alec took another step backwards.

"There's nothing to say. I haven't been able to sleep well recently, because I keep remembering all these things I thought I was over. That's it, that's what's been happening." Alec frowned.

"What kind of things?" he asked before he could think better of it. Magnus turned to go inside, and Alec grabbed his arm, again before he could think better of it.

"Alexander, I am going to tell you. I just don't think we should do it outside, it's too cold." Alec nodded, and they went inside, Magnus shutting the balcony doors with the snap of his fingers. They sat down on the couch, and though part of Alec wanted Magnus to hold him close and warm him up somehow, he decided against it. For one thing, he didn't want them to be distracted from the conversation he knew they were going to have. For another, he still felt a little awkward asking for things like that.

"Are you sure you're okay talking about this?" he asked after a while. He contemplated taking Magnus's hand, but thought it might be a better idea to wait.

"Yes, I think so. You're right, this has been going on for too long." He was quiet for a minute, and Alec wondered what he was going to say. "I don't know where to start," he said eventually.

"Maybe you should wait till morning. It is pretty late." Alec shifted slightly on the couch. Their… activities earlier in the night made sitting down for extended periods of time a bit uncomfortable.

"Maybe." He paused. "I'm sorry to change the subject again, but are you okay?" Alec nodded.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Maybe we should go back to bed, though. A decent night's sleep might be what we both need." He stood up, Magnus following, and they headed into the bedroom. For a moment, Alec wondered when it had stopped feeling exclusively like Magnus's bedroom, and whether or not it was just him who looked at it that way.

About half an hour later, as they were lying in bed, Magnus started to speak. He was facing away from Alec, which probably made it easier.

"I was nine when my mother died," he began. Alec blinked. Whatever he'd been expecting, that wasn't it. "That was the point where she realised what my cat eyes meant- I couldn't cover them up back then, I didn't know how. It was a different world back then. Even having a child out of wedlock, or with somebody other than your husband, was enough of a scandal. Add to that the fact that said child's father wasn't even human..." he trailed off.

"I'm sorry," Alec whispered, not sure what else to say.

"It's not your fault." He sighed. "Anyway, I thought I'd moved on from that, put it behind me. Then that Agony rune brought it all back, and I keep remembering it."

"Okay, now I really am sorry. If I'd listened to you, I could've done something about that- at least stop them using that rune on you." Magnus turned his head to kiss Alec, lightly and briefly.

"I forgive you for that," he whispered. Alec wanted to kiss him again, but he'd already turned away. They were both quiet for a while, and Alec found himself drifting off to sleep. He hoped things would be better now, but deep down he knew it would take more than one late night heart-to-heart to really make a difference. Before he fell asleep properly, he leaned over and kissed Magnus's cheek.

"I love you," he whispered. He pulled him closer, wishing that was all he needed to do to make everything better. If only it was that simple. Still, he thought as he closed his eyes, hopefully now Magnus would be more open with him, and that would make things at least a little bit easier. Only time would tell, though.


End file.
